A good friend turned me on to this site. For awhile I ignored her messages because I thought it was just another scam or whatever. Now that I have officially broken up with my boyfriend and have no job and no life, I decided to give this site a try. I’m so glad I did. Now if only I can get other people to sign up as my referrals because then I earn the points they earn and then I can get more stuff!!! Please give this site a try and I promise you wont be disappointed. Right now I’m saving up points to buy Jaydan something cool.
please click this referral link and do some searching! I will love you forever!!!

I have been so busy lately that I havn’t been able to post anything. On the positive note, I am only 5 classes from graduating! I can’t wait to have more time for my projects. I have a desktop full of plans, ideas and drawings but nothing worth showing the world, yet.
Some of the things on my mind lately are:
-losing weight. I have started a diet and I am determined to find the time to lose atleast 20 lbs. The baby weight must go!
-finishing my final project for my communications class. I can’t seem to make up my mind on the topic
-dying my hair. I have considered getting some highlights for my hair or just dying my hair something less…. brown.
-making friends on Plentyoffish.com
-getting a crappy job so I can save money for moving back to springfield. A piece of me is still there…and I want it back!
-getting Jeremy motivated to tap our creative minds and put together a movie for TJW…. that’s right Jeremy, I need you to get to work!

And I am still looking for my book “so yesterday”….. I am willing to pay 100 dollars for my original copy. If anyone comes across this blog by chance and remembers a book/story/ written completely on lined notebook paper that has had the author’s name erased atleast 3 times by the name of “so yesterday”-please have a heart and give it back to me :/

here is the video that I worked two, very long months on. I drew everything my self. This is also my first movie/video in flash. Music by Sunrise Cassette.

My mom and little sister came up to visit us this weekend. We had alot of fun. I hope they come visit more often since it’s only a 3 hour drive….

Here is a video of melissa being ridiculously hilarious. enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MrFCxkNaeg

I must be a pretty strong person for keeping it together as well as I do. It takes alot of control not to just lose it and hit the road. I think about it too often, but thinking about it just might be all I need to let out the pressure. I’m a good person, but I wish I wasn’t. I’m also very good at pretending. Its getting harder with age, but I can still do it. The only problem is when I can’t decide between what is real or  not. Then things start getting messy.

This summer has almost been the most depressing summers of my life.  I can think of a million reasons that have contributed to the depression. Most of the depression has been the wave of realization of what the world is and what I should expect from it. Part of all this is just growing up, I think. I keep finding myself unable to get out of the mind set that I grew up believing. Now, I have found out that everything I once believed was all  a lie. It seems that now that I am older, I am finding out the truth in everything and I don’t like it. I fight with myself on what I want to believe and what is the truth. I understand why Micheal Jackson was a fan of the story of Peter Pan. I have always loved Peter Pan and even from an early age, I saw the movie and knew what it meant. It’s not about being a kid or doing what you want and it’s not just about the adventures. The story has a deeper meaning. It’s about being innocent, unaware, and immune to the cruel world we grow up into.

I need to listen to the lyrics
of the songs that play in my head.
I need to clean out the closet
and stop piling everything up.
I want to get out my oil paints
and paint what I feel.
My body is the canvas
and my thoughts will guide my brush.
I like to think that the rain comes
when I hold back my own tears.
I like to think that nothing
can hurt me.
I like to think that I am winning the game
that everyone else is watching.
I am afraid that maybe I am
just like you.
Memories to me are like
treasures of the mind.
I like to make memories
and I try to make them
so I never will forget.
Sometimes things are better
when they are only memories.
I don’t choose the things I remember
but I wonder why I remember
the things that I do.
There are a few memories I try to forget.
I am trying hard to forget YOU.
But for some reason, I cannot.
Or maybe because deep down
I really don’t want to ever forget that.

Rainy Monday lyrics by shiny toy guns

I don’t mind
You’re someone that ain’t mine
But someone that I’ll get
And you don’t know how
Hard I’ve tried
To convince myself that I
Can easily forget

[B-section]
But you left this feeling
Here inside me
One that never fails to find me…

[Chorus]
On a rainy Monday
…a feeling inside me
Like the days of summer

On a rainy Monday
..I feel it inside me
In the hopes of one day

I won’t lie
I still can’t say that I
Admit we went too far
And you won’t see me change my mind
But I really wish that I
Could forget the way you are

[B-section 2]
But you left this feeling here inside me
The battle in my mind still fights me

I can see that you’re not beside me
But I still feel you shine inside of me

I drove past this building on Glenstone countless times. I think that it’s just asking for a really awesome prank. If I could repel, spraypaint, and get away with it then I would totally paint the cup to look like Master Shake. That would kick ass. I think I will just settle for a little photoshopin’